Pork and Nur

Pork and Nur

VOL. XVI  NO.52 September 14 – 20,  2013

Joke time po muna tayo mga dear readers, alam naman ninyo that laughter is the best medicine at pampatangal at pampalimot sa kasalukuyan mga matitinding problema!! ! Mula sa website na http://professionalheckler.wordpress.com/.

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MNLF LEADER Nur Misuari’s men stormed Zamboanga City Sunday hoping to hoist an MNLF flag at the city hall. At press time though, Misuari is nowhere to be found. Some say he’s either in Sulu or Basilan; others believe he’s at Heritage Park.

According to the government, the MNLF is divided, and there are factions within the group. To which Misuari replied, “Look who’s talking!”

Nur Misuari claims he has “1.3 million forces.” Some 300 of them are now in Zamboanga. The rest are in his head.

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LETTERS

Dear Ka Nur Misuari,

Maraming salamat po sa kooperasyon. Tatanawin kong malaking utang na loob ang ginawa n’yong ‘yan sa Zamboanga. Salamat po ulit.

Sincerely,

Janet Lim-Napoles

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Dear Governor Misuari,

Perfect timing ka talaga. Saludo kami sa ginagawa n’yo! ‘Wag muna kayong umalis d’yan. Keep it up!

Yours truly,

Pogi, Tanda, Kuya Sexy

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Dear Ka Nur Misuari,

Alam naming galit ka rin at maging ang iyong mga tauhan sa baboy. Pwes, patunayan n’yo! Retreat! Now na!

Nakikiusap,

Pork Barrel Scam Whistle-blowers

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Dear Janet Lim-Napoles,

Ano ‘tong ikinakalat mong tsismis na magkakilala tayo? Hoy! Nang lumapit kayong mag-asawa sa akin noon, ang sabi mo, “Senator, I’m a fan! Pa-picture naman.” Linawin mo ngayon ‘yan!

Inis,

Frank Drilon

Dear Senator Frank,

Hindi ako ang naglabas n’yan. Baka na-hack ang Facebook photos ko. Peks man!

Love,

Janet

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Dear Secretary Ochoa,

Sabi mo sa hearing sa Kamara kahapon, hindi mo ako kilala. Nautot ako sa katatawa. Ang funny mo!

Hahaha,

Ma’am Janet

 

Dear Ma’am Janet,

Punyeta! Tumahimik ka!

Pikon na,

Ochoa

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Picture, Picture

Undated photos of Sen. Frank Drilon with the Napoles couple are circulating online. Analysts say it’s the most damning evidence yet since it marks the first time Janet Lim-Napoles was seen with actual  pork.